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ADHD & Neurodivergent Counselling in Sydney

Therapy that works with the way your brain works

Perhaps you know or sense you have ADHD. Perhaps you were diagnosed later in life and are still trying to understand what that means. Or perhaps you have spent years wondering why things that seem straightforward for other people can sometimes require enormous effort from you.

 

ADHD can affect much more than attention. It can influence organisation, motivation, emotional regulation, relationships, self-esteem, work, routines and the way you respond to stress.

 

For many adults, therapy isn’t simply about becoming more productive. It can also be about understanding yourself differently, letting go of years of self-criticism and finding strategies that actually work for you.

ADHD & neurodivergence-informed therapy · Newtown + online · No GP referral required

Christopher James seated in his Newtown counselling room for ADHD and neurodivergence therapy in Sydney

ADHD can look different in adults

Adult ADHD isn’t always obvious from the outside. Some people visibly struggle with organisation, unfinished tasks or routines. Others appear highly capable while using a huge amount of mental energy behind the scenes simply to keep everything together.You might recognise experiences such as:

  • feeling mentally busy much of the time

  • procrastinating even when something matters

  • difficulty starting or finishing tasks

  • becoming intensely focused on some things but struggling to engage with others

  • frequently feeling overwhelmed

  • difficulty organising time and priorities

  • forgetting things despite genuinely trying to remember

  • struggling to maintain routines

  • feeling restless or constantly needing stimulation

  • making impulsive decisions

  • becoming frustrated or emotionally overwhelmed quickly

  • sensitivity to criticism or rejection

  • replaying or overthinking conversations afterwards

  • periods of intense productivity followed by exhaustion

  • perfectionism

  • people-pleasing or masking

  • feeling like you are somehow “too much” or “not enough”

  • difficulty switching off

  • relationship conflict around attention, organisation or communication

  • knowing what you need to do but struggling to actually do it

ADHD can look very different from one person to another, and many adults have spent years compensating, masking or blaming themselves before recognising that there may be another explanation for why certain parts of life feel so effortful.Having some of these experiences does not automatically mean you have ADHD. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition and formal diagnosis requires assessment by an appropriately qualified clinician.

Therapy after a late ADHD diagnosis

Receiving an ADHD diagnosis as an adult can be validating.

It can also bring complicated feelings.

You may begin looking back at school, relationships, work or previous difficulties through an entirely different lens.

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People sometimes experience relief alongside sadness, anger or frustration:

​

“Why didn’t anyone notice?”

“Would things have been different if I’d known earlier?”

“Maybe I wasn’t lazy after all.”

“How much of my life have I spent trying to hide this?”

Therapy can provide space to make sense of this.Rather than seeing a diagnosis as a new label that explains everything, we can explore what ADHD means specifically for you - and what doesn’t need explaining through ADHD at all.

ADHD, shame and self-esteem

One of the less visible consequences of living with ADHD can be the story you gradually develop about yourself.

​

If throughout your life you have repeatedly heard things like:

  • “Just concentrate.”

  • “Why haven’t you done it yet?”

  • “You have so much potential.”

  • “You’re always late.”

  • “You need to be more organised.”

  • “You’re too sensitive.”

Over time, these can stop feeling like comments about particular behaviours and begin to feel like statements about who you are.

The beliefs that can develop

  • “I’m lazy.”

  • “I’m unreliable.”

  • “I always mess things up.”

  • “I’m too much.”

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  • “I’m not good enough.”

  • “Everyone else seems to manage.”

  • “I should be able to cope with this.”

  • “Something is wrong with me.”

Therapy can help separate difficulties with attention, executive functioning or emotional regulation from the harsh conclusions you may have learned to draw about yourself.Understanding ADHD does not mean avoiding responsibility. It means approaching difficulties with greater accuracy and less unnecessary shame. Sydney Counsellor

ADHD and Relationships

ADHD can have a significant impact on relationships. Difficulties with attention, organisation, emotional regulation or follow-through can sometimes be interpreted as a lack of care or effort, even when that isn’t what is happening.

​

​Arguments may develop around things that initially seem small:

  • forgetting something important

  • lateness

  • household responsibilities

  • interrupting

  • becoming distracted during conversations

  • needing more or less stimulation

  • emotional reactions

  • impulsive decisions

  • different approaches to planning

  • difficulty following through on agreements

Over time, these practical difficulties can become much bigger relationship stories.

"You don't care"

"Nothing I do is ever enough"

Therapy can help slow these patterns down and understand what is happening underneath them.The goal isn’t to excuse hurtful behaviour because of ADHD. It is to distinguish intention from impact, improve communication and develop strategies that are realistic for the people actually involved.I work individually with adults experiencing relationship difficulties where ADHD or neurodivergence forms part of the relationship dynamic.

ADHD, Anxiety and Overwhelm

ADHD and anxiety can sometimes become difficult to separate. 

You may worry because you forget things.

Then create rigid systems so that you won’t forget.

Then become overwhelmed by maintaining those systems.

Then avoid the task altogether.

Then criticise yourself for avoiding it.

Worry about forgetting

↓

Create rigid systems

↓

Become overwhelmed by maintaining them

↓

Avoid the task

↓

Criticise yourself for avoiding it

Therapy can help identify these cycles rather than simply treating each symptom in isolation.

For some people, perfectionism, over-preparing, people-pleasing or excessive checking have become ways of compensating for difficulties they didn’t previously understand.

We can explore which strategies are genuinely helping you and which may now be creating additional stress.

Masking and appearing "high-functioning"

Not everyone with ADHD appears disorganised.

Some adults become exceptionally skilled at compensating.

You might be successful professionally, highly responsible, organised for other people or seen as the person who always gets things done.

At the same time, you may feel as though maintaining this version of yourself requires a huge amount of internal effort.

You may rely on:

  • constant reminders

  • urgency and deadlines

  • anxiety

  • perfectionism

  • overworking

  • rigid routines

  • excessive preparation

  • hiding difficulties from others

Sometimes the issue isn’t whether you can function. It is how much energy functioning is costing you.

Therapy can help explore where strategies are useful and where you may be able to work with yourself rather than constantly forcing yourself into systems that don’t fit.

What might we work on in ADHD counselling?

Therapy is individual rather than a fixed ADHD programme.

Depending on what is happening for you, our work might involve:

  • understanding your individual ADHD patterns

  • reducing shame and self-criticism

  • emotional regulation

  • anxiety and overthinking

  • overwhelm and burnout

  • procrastination and avoidance

  • perfectionism

  • relationships and communication

  • sensitivity to criticism

  • boundaries and people-pleasing

  • work stress

  • identity following a late diagnosis

  • self-esteem

  • developing realistic routines and strategies

  • recognising strengths as well as difficulties

  • processing past experiences that continue to affect you

  • understanding how ADHD interacts with other aspects of your life

Sometimes practical strategies are useful.

Sometimes the issue isn’t another planner, reminder system or productivity technique.

Sometimes therapy needs to explore why a particular situation carries so much emotional weight in the first place.

An integrative approach rather than one-size-fits-all therapy

I don’t use one therapy model with every client.

My approach is integrative and may draw upon:

  • Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT)

  • Schema Therapy

  • Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

  • psychodynamic psychotherapy

  • Narrative Therapy

  • Solution-Focused Therapy

  • Mindfulness-informed approaches

  • EMDR where appropriate

For someone with ADHD or other neurodivergent traits, this may also mean adapting the way therapy itself works.

We don’t need to spend 50 minutes following a perfectly linear conversation.

We can slow things down, change direction, use practical examples, revisit important threads and find ways of working that make sense for you.

ADHD, trauma and difficult past experiences

Having ADHD does not mean that you have experienced trauma, and ADHD itself is not a trauma response.But living for years with misunderstood neurodivergence can sometimes leave emotional scars of its own.

You may have experienced repeated criticism, embarrassment, bullying, rejection, conflict or a sense that you were continually getting things wrong despite trying very hard.

  • being labelled lazy or careless

  • repeated criticism at school or work

  • bullying or social exclusion

  • feeling different from other people

  • conflict in relationships

  • repeated experiences of failure or rejection

  • hiding parts of yourself to fit in

  • developing strong shame or self-doubt

Sometimes these experiences continue to affect how you see yourself long after the original situation has passed.Therapy can help us distinguish between the practical challenges associated with ADHD and the emotional impact of what you have experienced because of - or alongside - those challenges.

When past experiences still feel very present

If particular memories, experiences or relationship events remain highly distressing, EMDR may sometimes be useful as part of the therapy.

This might include experiences of bullying, humiliation, rejection, betrayal, frightening events or other memories that continue to trigger strong emotional or physical reactions.

EMDR would only be used where it is appropriate for you and would form part of a broader therapeutic approach rather than being automatically recommended because you have ADHD.

ADHD, autism and other neurodivergence

ADHD rarely exists in a neat box.

Some adults also identify with autistic traits, sensory differences, learning differences or other forms of neurodivergence. Others may not use a particular label at all, but recognise that they experience the world differently from many of the people around them.

There can also be overlap between ADHD and autism in areas such as:

  • sensory sensitivity

  • difficulty switching between tasks

  • becoming overwhelmed by competing demands

  • intense interests or periods of hyperfocus

  • needing recovery time after social interaction

  • masking or adapting yourself around others

  • difficulty with unexpected change

  • emotional overwhelm

  • differences in communication

  • feeling exhausted from trying to meet other people’s expectations

At the same time, ADHD and autism are different neurodevelopmental conditions, and the way they interact can vary enormously from one person to another.

Therapy does not need to begin with having every label figured out. We can focus on the experiences that are actually affecting you and understand them in a way that is useful rather than forcing everything into one explanation.

Neurodivergence-affirming therapy

My aim is not to make you appear more “normal” or to remove harmless traits simply because they are different.

Instead, therapy can help you understand your needs, recognise where masking or constant adaptation may be exhausting you, develop more workable strategies and decide which changes would genuinely improve your life.

If you are considering a formal ADHD or autism assessment, I can also support you therapeutically before, during or after that process, although I do not provide diagnostic assessments myself.

You don’t need an ADHD diagnosis to come to therapy

You may already have an ADHD diagnosis, be waiting for an assessment, be considering whether to seek one, or simply recognise difficulties that you would like help with.

You do not need a formal ADHD diagnosis to work with me.

Counselling and psychotherapy can focus on what is actually happening in your life - such as overwhelm, emotional regulation, relationships, procrastination, anxiety, self-esteem or burnout - without requiring a particular diagnostic label first.

Do you diagnose ADHD?

No. I provide counselling and psychotherapy rather than ADHD diagnostic assessment.

If you would like a formal diagnosis, ADHD assessment needs to be undertaken by an appropriately qualified medical or psychological professional.

You are still welcome to attend therapy before, during or after that process.

What if I take ADHD medication?

That’s completely fine. Psychotherapy can be used alongside medical treatment where appropriate.

Medication and prescribing decisions remain between you and your GP, psychiatrist or other prescribing clinician. Therapy can focus on emotional, relational and behavioural aspects of your experience that medication alone may not address.

ADHD counselling in Newtown, Sydney

I offer ADHD and neurodivergence-informed counselling and psychotherapy from my private practice in Newtown in Sydney’s Inner West, as well as online across Australia.

You can contact me directly without a GP referral or Mental Health Treatment Plan.

Therapy is tailored to the individual rather than following a standard ADHD programme. We can focus on the areas that are actually affecting you - whether that is emotional regulation, relationships, overwhelm, shame, procrastination, burnout, identity after diagnosis, or something else entirely.

If you are unsure whether ADHD or neurodivergence is the main issue, that is completely fine. We can begin with what is happening in your life and make sense of it together.

Newtown, Sydney Inner West · In-person + online · No GP referral required

YOUR THERAPIST

About Christopher James

I’m Christopher James, a PACFA Registered Clinical Counsellor & Psychotherapist with more than 10 years of experience across counselling, psychotherapy and mental health settings.

My approach is warm, collaborative and integrative. I work with adults experiencing ADHD and neurodivergence alongside concerns such as anxiety, relationships, self-esteem, trauma, emotional overwhelm and burnout.

I also bring personal understanding of ADHD and the experience of making sense of neurodivergence in adulthood, while recognising that every person’s experience is different.

PACFA Registered Clinical Counsellor

Psychotherapist

10+ years’ experience

ADHD & neurodivergence-informed

Newtown + online across Australia

Frequently Asked Questions About ADHD Counselling

What happens in the first session?

The first session is an opportunity to understand what has brought you to therapy, what you are finding difficult and what you would like to change. You do not need to arrive with a clear diagnosis, treatment plan or list of goals. Your first individual session is 65 minutes (15 minutes extra complimentary), giving us a little more time to talk things through without feeling rushed.

How often should I come to therapy?

This depends on what you are working on and what is realistic for you. Where possible, weekly sessions - or at least fortnightly sessions - can help maintain continuity and momentum, particularly at the beginning. We can review the frequency together over time.

How is ADHD counselling different to ADHD coaching?

ADHD coaching tends to focus primarily on practical goals, organisation, routines and accountability. Psychotherapy can include practical strategies too, but can also explore emotional regulation, self-esteem, shame, relationships, anxiety, past experiences and longstanding patterns that may sit underneath current difficulties.

What does ADHD counselling cost?

Individual counselling and psychotherapy is $200 for a 50-minute session. Your first session is 65 minutes at the same fee. Limited after-hours appointments are $230. No GP referral or Mental Health Treatment Plan is required.

READY WHEN YOU ARE

Thinking about ADHD or neurodivergence-informed therapy?

You don’t need to have everything figured out before getting in touch. Whether you have a diagnosis, are questioning whether ADHD or neurodivergence may be relevant, or simply want support with what has been difficult, we can start with what is happening for you now.

Newtown, Sydney · In-person + online · No GP referral required

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